Imprint: Triarchy Press 
Published: March 2022
132pp. ~ 15.2 x 22.9 cm ~ Paperback
ISBN: 978-1-913743-48-2
Price: £12.50
Tags: Psychotherapy, Buddhism

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Readership

​Written for anyone training or practising as a psychotherapist, or considering taking up therapy as a client, Uncovering Mystery in Everyday Life is also for anyone interested in the existential wonder of being human.

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Other Triarchy Titles you might love:

Uncovering Mystery in Everyday Life
Confessions of a Buddhist Psychotherapist​

​R.J. Chisholm 

This book is about psychotherapy. Written as a collection of tales about encounters between a therapist and his clients, it reveals why many people would turn to therapy for help, what they might look for and what they might actually find.

 For Bob Chisholm, a therapist who draws on Buddhist psychology in dealing with his clients, helping someone find self-insight has less to do with understanding their life diagnostically than it does with appreciating their experience existentially – that is to say, in all its inherent mystery.

 The idea that uncovering mystery could be a way of freeing someone from their psychological misery may seem almost magical: like consulting a ouija board or gazing into tea leaves. But it is in the details and happenstance of a person’s life – in the suspense of the everyday world – that the actual mystery of a person’s life is sure to be found. Finding that mystery, and helping people come to terms with it, is what this book is all about.

"This is a beautifully written account of psychotherapy, light on its feet but with great depth and insight. It doesn't matter if you know nothing about psychotherapy or if you are a lifelong convert - there are pearls aplenty in these pages.
The author practices from a Buddhist perspective, and he manages to convey Buddhist principles economically and with a poet's touch. Again, the reader needn't be schooled in Eastern spirituality to appreciate these textures - what is conveyed is the mystery of the process at the heart of the therapeutic encounter.
I am a practicing psychotherapist and found much in this book I could relate to, and many unexplored avenues to explore. But you don't have to be a therapist to appreciate the insights and heart of this very alive piece of writing. Highly recommended."
Paul Christelis on Amazon

Contents

Introduction

Encounter  -- What exactly is the therapist listening for? Signs or symptoms, clues that reveal some underlying pathology which drives the stress that makes someone seek therapy? Many people seem to think that therapy must begin with a diagnosis, an objective appraisal of the character of the client. But for me the beginning of therapy is less about identifying someone as a particular character type than it is about establishing a foundation for trust and deeper communication. Moreover, getting a clear idea about the client and her world... requires time and patience in order to allow deeper understanding to develop. It is led by a simple, if unspoken request: tell me who you are.

Following the Money Mindfully -- When the Buddha taught mindfulness, he taught far more than a way of pacifying the mind. His teaching included his ideas on ethics and spiritual development, as well. But seeing things as they really are –impermanent, not-self and suffering – has always been the essence of his teaching. In this spirit, he advised his followers to confirm for themselves the truths that he taught.... Therapeutic mindfulness can help dispel the evasions, self-deceptions and harmful illusions that keep us stuck in self-defeating patterns of suffering. But therapy cannot offer a path of final liberation to nirvana ... It can only offer the more modest liberation of finding another, better way to live. For most of us, this usually proves to be enough.

Love and Death -- Psychotherapy commonly deals with problems that involve love and death, issues which both religion and literature have also taken as two of their most important and enduring themes.  As a therapist, I have learned as much about human experience by reflecting on great spiritual and literary texts as I have by reading any books on psychology. But though it shares some interests with literature, psychotherapy is not any sort of literary or religious endeavour. Stories of love and death may offer valuable insights for our own experience, but it is only by experiencing things personally that we discover who we are. In confronting both love and death, we have no choice but to experience ourselves in the first person, in the very skin of our individual being. Therapy can assist in the discovery.

The Kindness of Others -- The key discovery a person makes through self-insight is that he is the principal agent of his life, and not a passive victim of his circumstances. By taking responsibility for what he does and thinks, he discovers the freedom to act in accordance with his beliefs and values, even in circumstances he might find difficult or unfavourable. 

A Question of Love -- The complaint of the world has always been that there is not enough love to go around. The problem that therapists will always face is the absence of love in the lives of our clients. “Why doesn't love happen to me?” or, even more poignantly, “why didn’t love happen in my childhood, when I needed it the most?” are questions that come up regularly in therapy. Some cases are particularly heart wrenching.

Crooked Timber -- When people turn to therapy, they often feel conflicted and bewildered by the emotional state they find themselves in. Sometimes they can trace the cause of their distress to particular incidents or living conditions, but often they’re simply baffled by their feelings, and wonder what makes them feel so painfully confused. Their distress may even lead them to believe that if they were like other people they wouldn’t be suffering as they do – a belief that must be rejected before real change can occur.

In Dreams Begin Responsibilities  --  I have found that dreams reward examination by opening up a domain of unconscious fantasy that acts as a potent force in waking life, even though this realm is mostly hidden and unseen. Indeed, fantasy gains in potency the more unseen and less conscious it is. By exploring dreams, therapy can reveal the hidden fantasies of clients unconstrained by outer realities, or the inhibitions of conscience.

Confessions of a Buddhist Psychotherapist -- My approach to therapy depends on faith, though not faith in a final salvation, or in some vaunted spiritual goal like enlightenment. It depends on something more fundamental to psychotherapy – the faith that being alive as a human being, even with all the potential for suffering that inheres in the condition, is actually a great blessing.
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Closure